I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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