Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Please, let me fuck your mom
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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