Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I smell like Dick and happiness
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