I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
