Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
