did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
