she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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