True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I currently don't understand fingers.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
