whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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