Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
