No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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