redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
