I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize