Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
