I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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