I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
