This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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