Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize