we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
