Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
