You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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