I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
