You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
