I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
