I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
