thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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