I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
