I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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