Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
