i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
