no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
