yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
