Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
