Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
