Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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