He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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