Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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