Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
