There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
