I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
