physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
