# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
