Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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