love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
