Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
