6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
