well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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