Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize