i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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