I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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