3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
