You can't motorboat a personality
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November