You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!