Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority