I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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