we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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