Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
