i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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