oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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