like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
