dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
