i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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