if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
did i just pee glitter
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
