her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize