i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
